Saturday, August 26, 2006
Being your own God
We all want to be our own god of course. Surely it is the most foolish desire we could ever harbor. Dan Phillips of Team Pyro nails it.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Finding a girl at church
A poster at Garfield Ridge gave Dave some advice on how to meet some nice women. Dave made it plain beforehand he doesn’t believe in a God.
“actually, Dave, your best bet, i.m.o., is to find a mainstream protestant liturgical church with a largish population of 24-35 year old single women. Don't worry, you'd be attending for the express purpose of getting laid and/or having a meaningful relationship - any religious benefit would simply be icing on the cake.
For a guy your age, church offers a couple of benefits from a purely secular standpoint.
1 - most liturgical protestant (Lutheran, Episcopalian) churches aren't that gung-ho. No mid-service speaking in tongues or getting pulled before the congregation to witness before the group or that stuff. So you're not going to get button-holed about your faith life or put on the spot or otherwise discomfitted during the service.
2 - 11:00 services give you a reason to not stay out all night Saturday and a place to be late in the morning Sunday in a dressed, fairly presentable fashion. Again, this has nothing to do with 'God' and that. It's just that you're going to be in proximity to single women in the late morning on the weekend.
3- You get to meet these women socially in a situation with good lighting at a time when you can have a non-threatening coffee/brunch date after the service.
Since you're 1) male and 2) attending a service all by yourself, you'll be noticed by every. single. single woman at the service. Some of them will come up and ask your name if this is your first time attending the service. If you've got any sort of conversational game you can determine if it's a pond you want to fish.
5 - Churches are composed of groups - most have social activities during the week, away from the church. One church I attended after I turned 30 had a young adult ministry group (under 40) and we played pinnochle at members houses or apartments on a rotating schedule, no prayers to start, no God stuff, we drank and socialized, played cards and such. It was a good bunch of people, one of whom I dated.
Other times you can just talk with the gals during coffee hour after services and figure out a time to get together on a date. It's a nice place to have a conversation. Especially if you drop a 'I hope I'll see you next week" into the mix.
6 - How to behave during the service:
A) Sit 2/3rds of the way back in the congregation. This gives you time to notice what's happening around you when it's time for communion (do they start from the back or the front? Do they hand out stuff or do you walk up? )
B) Have a cover story, not much of one, but come up with a reason why you're there other than to get laid. "It's been a while since I attended church and I thought I'd like to visit a couple of congregations" is about all you need to say.
c) Look confident. God's not going to strike you dead and your pastor from your childhood isn't going to burst in and administer you a Faith Quiz. You're there. Treat it like a social anthropology experiment if you need something to think about
d) For most services it's 'stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, kneel, stand, sit, kneel, walk-up, walk-back, kneel, stand, exit'
If you're halfway charming and have reasonable grooming habits you're going to have more female attention than you'll know what to do with. Attractive females, too - you'd be surprised.
In the event you decide 'no f’ing way' - that's okay, I'm not the one hardup to get laid.
any good luck - good hunting.”
[ Dave responds; he’s not that desperate to fool somebody when he’s a thorough non-believer]
The poster responds back:
“Once you're actually dating a female regularly there's no obligation to continue to go to church on a weekly basis. Saturday night go out, take her back to your place, shag the reason out of her, and don't set the alarm clock.
Sure, you run the risk that you'll actually like the people in the congregation, that you'll enjoy the social contacts you've made, like the company and you'll figure that the entertainment value of church ($1 per hour, plus free coffee and cookies) is worth it so you'll fold up a dollar, put it in a pew envelope, and toss it in the collection plate, but - hey - life's a risky proposition.
Also, odds are better than 50/50 that she'll go along with skipping awhile, possibly all together. After all, the reason she's going to church in the first place is just to meet nicer guys than the ones she sees at the bars.
I'll make this guarantee, if you attend services at a reasonably big liturgical protestant church you'll start getting laid within the month on a regular basis. (Btw - 'liturgical' means that you follow a liturgy, which is a script. There are no surprises, no sudden outbreaks of congregational singing, or handling of serpents.)
Here's a place to start looking for congregations in your neck of the woods:
http://www.redeemermclean.org/singlesministry/
You can use data mining techniques, if you like. I did.
Lutheran congregations within 15 miles of Alexandria:
You'd want a congregation that's got more than 500 people registered or one that features an active singles group in their newsletters (most of which are online so you can browse to see how 'religiousy' they are.
Avoid Wisconsin or Missouri Synod congregations unless the chick is *smoking hot*.
btw - I'm not proseltyzing or concerned in any way, shape, or form about your immortal soul.
“actually, Dave, your best bet, i.m.o., is to find a mainstream protestant liturgical church with a largish population of 24-35 year old single women. Don't worry, you'd be attending for the express purpose of getting laid and/or having a meaningful relationship - any religious benefit would simply be icing on the cake.
For a guy your age, church offers a couple of benefits from a purely secular standpoint.
1 - most liturgical protestant (Lutheran, Episcopalian) churches aren't that gung-ho. No mid-service speaking in tongues or getting pulled before the congregation to witness before the group or that stuff. So you're not going to get button-holed about your faith life or put on the spot or otherwise discomfitted during the service.
2 - 11:00 services give you a reason to not stay out all night Saturday and a place to be late in the morning Sunday in a dressed, fairly presentable fashion. Again, this has nothing to do with 'God' and that. It's just that you're going to be in proximity to single women in the late morning on the weekend.
3- You get to meet these women socially in a situation with good lighting at a time when you can have a non-threatening coffee/brunch date after the service.
Since you're 1) male and 2) attending a service all by yourself, you'll be noticed by every. single. single woman at the service. Some of them will come up and ask your name if this is your first time attending the service. If you've got any sort of conversational game you can determine if it's a pond you want to fish.
5 - Churches are composed of groups - most have social activities during the week, away from the church. One church I attended after I turned 30 had a young adult ministry group (under 40) and we played pinnochle at members houses or apartments on a rotating schedule, no prayers to start, no God stuff, we drank and socialized, played cards and such. It was a good bunch of people, one of whom I dated.
Other times you can just talk with the gals during coffee hour after services and figure out a time to get together on a date. It's a nice place to have a conversation. Especially if you drop a 'I hope I'll see you next week" into the mix.
6 - How to behave during the service:
A) Sit 2/3rds of the way back in the congregation. This gives you time to notice what's happening around you when it's time for communion (do they start from the back or the front? Do they hand out stuff or do you walk up? )
B) Have a cover story, not much of one, but come up with a reason why you're there other than to get laid. "It's been a while since I attended church and I thought I'd like to visit a couple of congregations" is about all you need to say.
c) Look confident. God's not going to strike you dead and your pastor from your childhood isn't going to burst in and administer you a Faith Quiz. You're there. Treat it like a social anthropology experiment if you need something to think about
d) For most services it's 'stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, kneel, stand, sit, kneel, walk-up, walk-back, kneel, stand, exit'
If you're halfway charming and have reasonable grooming habits you're going to have more female attention than you'll know what to do with. Attractive females, too - you'd be surprised.
In the event you decide 'no f’ing way' - that's okay, I'm not the one hardup to get laid.
any good luck - good hunting.”
[ Dave responds; he’s not that desperate to fool somebody when he’s a thorough non-believer]
The poster responds back:
“Once you're actually dating a female regularly there's no obligation to continue to go to church on a weekly basis. Saturday night go out, take her back to your place, shag the reason out of her, and don't set the alarm clock.
Sure, you run the risk that you'll actually like the people in the congregation, that you'll enjoy the social contacts you've made, like the company and you'll figure that the entertainment value of church ($1 per hour, plus free coffee and cookies) is worth it so you'll fold up a dollar, put it in a pew envelope, and toss it in the collection plate, but - hey - life's a risky proposition.
Also, odds are better than 50/50 that she'll go along with skipping awhile, possibly all together. After all, the reason she's going to church in the first place is just to meet nicer guys than the ones she sees at the bars.
I'll make this guarantee, if you attend services at a reasonably big liturgical protestant church you'll start getting laid within the month on a regular basis. (Btw - 'liturgical' means that you follow a liturgy, which is a script. There are no surprises, no sudden outbreaks of congregational singing, or handling of serpents.)
Here's a place to start looking for congregations in your neck of the woods:
http://www.redeemermclean.org/singlesministry/
You can use data mining techniques, if you like. I did.
Lutheran congregations within 15 miles of Alexandria:
You'd want a congregation that's got more than 500 people registered or one that features an active singles group in their newsletters (most of which are online so you can browse to see how 'religiousy' they are.
Avoid Wisconsin or Missouri Synod congregations unless the chick is *smoking hot*.
btw - I'm not proseltyzing or concerned in any way, shape, or form about your immortal soul.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Fat, Weak and Unaware
Found on Little Green Footballs. Be afraid; be very, very afraid.
" The other side considers it a privilege to fight and die for its beliefs. Those on the other side cannot wait to line up to blow themselves up for their vision of heaven. On our side, it’s: “Let the other poor sap do it. I’ve got to make money.” How can we fight this fight with the brightest and best educated rushing off and working night and day to do private equity deals and derivatives trading? How can we fight this fight with the ruling class absent by its own sweet leave?
I keep thinking, again, that if Israel, with its back to the sea, cannot muster the will to fight in a big way, then the fat, faraway U.S.A. will never be able to do it. I keep saying this and it terrifies me.
We’re in a war with people who want to kill us all and wreck our civilization. They’re taking it very seriously. We, on the other hand, are worrying about leveraged buyouts and special dividends and how much junk debt the newly formed private entity can support before we sell it to the ultimate sucker, the public shareholder.
We’re worrying whether Hollywood will forgive Mel Gibson and what the next move is for big homes in East Hampton. We’re rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The terrorists are the iceberg.
WHAT stands between us and the iceberg are the miraculously brave men and women of the armed forces. They’re heroes and saints as far as I’m concerned. But can they do it without the rest of us? Can they do it while we’re all working on our tans and trying to have our taxes lowered again? How can we leave them out there all alone to die for us when we treat the war to save civilization as something we can just wish away?" Ben Stein NYT
" The other side considers it a privilege to fight and die for its beliefs. Those on the other side cannot wait to line up to blow themselves up for their vision of heaven. On our side, it’s: “Let the other poor sap do it. I’ve got to make money.” How can we fight this fight with the brightest and best educated rushing off and working night and day to do private equity deals and derivatives trading? How can we fight this fight with the ruling class absent by its own sweet leave?
I keep thinking, again, that if Israel, with its back to the sea, cannot muster the will to fight in a big way, then the fat, faraway U.S.A. will never be able to do it. I keep saying this and it terrifies me.
We’re in a war with people who want to kill us all and wreck our civilization. They’re taking it very seriously. We, on the other hand, are worrying about leveraged buyouts and special dividends and how much junk debt the newly formed private entity can support before we sell it to the ultimate sucker, the public shareholder.
We’re worrying whether Hollywood will forgive Mel Gibson and what the next move is for big homes in East Hampton. We’re rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The terrorists are the iceberg.
WHAT stands between us and the iceberg are the miraculously brave men and women of the armed forces. They’re heroes and saints as far as I’m concerned. But can they do it without the rest of us? Can they do it while we’re all working on our tans and trying to have our taxes lowered again? How can we leave them out there all alone to die for us when we treat the war to save civilization as something we can just wish away?" Ben Stein NYT
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Battlin' Monks
It doesn’t get any more fun than this!
Monks brawl at peace protestThu Aug 17, 2006 2:10 PM ET
COLOMBO (Reuters) - Protesters calling for an end to recent violence in Sri Lanka found themselves brawling with hardline Buddhist monks Thursday, after a rally dubbed a "peace protest" turned unexpectedly violent.
Monks brawl at peace protestThu Aug 17, 2006 2:10 PM ET
COLOMBO (Reuters) - Protesters calling for an end to recent violence in Sri Lanka found themselves brawling with hardline Buddhist monks Thursday, after a rally dubbed a "peace protest" turned unexpectedly violent.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
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