GREG GUTFIELD HAS FIGURED IT OUT!

HUFFPO REPORTS BAD NEWS

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who waged a heroic insurgent campaign of resistance against the bloody American occupation, was murdered by insensitive, homophobic and probably meat-eating U.S. warplanes, who dropped 500-pound bombs on his isolated safe house, which was also a battered woman's shelter, a milk factory and a petting zoo, officials said Thursday.
The bombs were probably made in Indonesia by underage slave labor and, according to Laurie David, extremely bad for the environment, especially old growth Redwoods and lemurs.

"Given the rampant bigotry of the Bush administration, I am not surprised that the identification of al-Zarqawi's face was entirely based on his skin color," says transient Russell Shaw. "They also killed his advisors, a chilling and unnecessary warning to any undergraduates who would like to pursue an advisory role for insurgent leaders."